Welcome to Scumbag College.
Scumbag College, seat of indoctrination since 1982.
The lads came over last night for our much-delayed monthly roleplaying session. I wasn't ready to run the next Pirate Borg rpg scenario and still had stuff to paint for the next adventure. So, I hit on a very cunning plan. Why not subject them to being unwilling test subjects in playing my HeroQuest Skirmish game. So, I did.
Aerial view of the Scumbag Collage main campus.
A group of students from National Action for Socialism International (NASI) protesting for the 'I Support the Latest Thing!' day of action is making a ruckus at the College fountain. Sergent Kneecapper, Constable Piggins and Probationary Constable Shirty have arrived to encourage the students to go and actually do something productive for once, like attend their class lectures. Suddenly, behind the protestors, a dishevelled and sickly-looking professor shuffles out of the main building. Blood dripping from his face.
Over at the College Bus, three more rather poorly looking students emerge onto the main quadrangle.
Over near where Neil had set up his Lentil's Against Hunger stand, two more pale strangers arrive. One dressed in a hospital gown.
Rick, having called the Fuzz "fascist" once too many times has been arrested and escorted to the main gate by Constable Piggins, there to await the arrival of a paddy wagon to transport him to the local constabulary lockup. But a sudden loud scream catches Constable Piggins attention. Abandoning his charge, he leaves Rick to hasten away to the sound for distress.
Meanwhile Neil has returned to Vyvyan's Ford Anglia to collect something for his Lentil stall. There he finds the car locked and a note on the window. The note is from the Scumbag College groundsman and caretaker and states that Vyvyan's car keys were found in the quadrangle by a student and handed to him. Vyv can come get them from his caretaker cottage when he gets back to his car. But Vyv arrives just then and has some shocking news to tell Neil and the others after he and SPG got away from Pitzer Medical Research Labs.
Vyv: "Neil, where are the others?"
Neil: "Uh, well Mike is over there by the car chatting up some chick and Rick has just been arrested for calling some pig a fascist."
Vyv: "We gotta get out of here Neil. There are zombies coming."
Neil: "Zombies, Vyv? You mean actual zombies?"
Vyv: "Yes Neil, actual zombies. We gotta hurry."
Neil: "Oh no Vyv!"
Neil starts acting in a panic.
Vyv: "Stop it, Neil. We gotta hurry and get out'a here."
Neil: "Oh, nooo. Heavy. That's heavy man. You know I'm a vegetarian and they're carnivores. What are we gonna do man? Heavy!"
Vyv: "Look Neil, you go get Mike, and I'll get girly pants Rick. We'll meet back here and get away in my car before they arrive."
Neil: "Oh, wait just a second Vyv. There was a note on the windshield of your car."
Vyvyan takes the note from Neil and reads it.
Vyv: "Oh, that's just great Neil. I gave you the keys so you could get the lentils out of the boot. Not lose them."
Neil: "Sorry Vyv. I must have dropped them when I burnt my hand on the pot of lentils I was cooking up."
Vyv: "That's no excuse Neil. When this is over, I'm just going to have to kill you."
Neil: "Uh, Ok Vyv. But shouldn't we get the guys and leave first." (Neil points to the entrance to the College).
Vyv: "Look, you get Mike, and I'll get my keys. I find Rick on the way."
Neil: "Right on, Vyv."
They turn to leave when Vyvyan stops Neil one more time.
Vyv: "And Neil."
Neil: "Yes Vyv?"
Vyvyan suddenly head butts Neil.
Vyv: "Don't lose my keys again!"
Neil: (staggering and concussed) "Uh, OK Vyv."
They both leave to find the others.
THE MISSION: The lads had to simply get Vyvyan's keys from the caretaker, get back to their car and get out of there. They all had to be present at the car in order to leave. None of them could be left behind. Well, at least the surviving guys had to be all at the car before they could leave. SPG was an NPC for Vyvyan, but otherwise each of the guys played one of the main characters. Picking up their items was not essential but highly advised. They could rescue people by escorting them to the main gate, where they would run off and escape the zombie attack (for now!). The police however would engage the zombies on sight and so were (kind of) a supporting cast that could help the lads. ANY NPC (other than SPG) and was contacted by a zombie would be killed and turned into a zombie the subsequent turn. The Police had their own stats and would fight. But if they were killed, they too would become zombies.
THE INFESTATION: There were six spawn points on the table. The first half-dozen zombies were placed randomly at one of the spawn points. These were all Zombie Shufflers. Each turn additional zombies would arrive. If loud noises were made (e.g. protesting, screaming, shooting, etc) an additional spawn marker would be placed at the nearest spawn point. For multiple spawn markers at a spawn point, a zombie would be placed on each marker at the end of the Monster Phase. Those zombies would become active on the next Monster Phase. Once all the zombies were on the table, the spawn points would become non-functioning. So, there would be a maximum of 37 zombies on the table before all spawn points became inactive.
There were 30x Zombie Shufflers, 2x Zombie Runners, 2x Zombie Brutes, 2x Toxic Zombie Brutes (who explode on death doing 3x Attack Dice and using the Small Blast Template centred on the Toxic Brute), and 1x Toxic Spitter Zombie (spit attack of 8" and 2x Attack Dice).
Rick, finding himself suddenly free, stops weeping and starts acting like a tough guy
Rick: "Yeah, fascist bully boy. That's right. Nobody messes with The Peoples Poet."
Mike, having both grossed out and offended a female student, is nearly run over by the girl as she drives off whilst yelling at him to drop dead.
Mike: "I think she likes me." Mike muses to himself as she leaves.
Rick's Poetry Book was confiscated by Constable Piggins when he was arrested and placed in the police car's glove box. There also happens to be a revolver and ammo in there. Meanwhile, in the back of the open boot of the car, a sawn-off shotgun is clearly visible.
The Caretaker watches on, shaking his head. He didn't fight for the British Army so that these entitled brats could spit on the country he fought for and loves. One of these days, he ponders, they will get their comeuppance. That day may just have arrived.
Here is the crew, the Zombies, and the equipment cards. All starting equipment must be picked up first. They don't begin the game with them; the lads must pick them up using an Action if they can get to where the items are located. For Rick to use his Poems, he has to pick up his poetry book. Likewise, the others don't get the benefits of their items until they pick them up.
Probationary Constable Shirty was the first to fall. The protesting students panicked and fled towards the College entrance. Constable Shirty engaged the oncoming Zombies from the school bus spawn point and was quickly munched on. Num, num, num. He became a Zombie Shuffler next turn.
The protesting students could all move 5" per turn, but the wheelchair protesting students could only move 3". They could, at a push, move 6" but there was a chance their electric wheelchairs would short out and catch fire if they did so (roll of a Black Shield on the dice).
Over by Neil's lentils, Constable Piggins also went down. More munching saw the officer become another Zombie Shuffler next turn. This was interesting as the Zombies were very close to the entrance and the escape route of the fleeing students.
Vyv went to pick up his Cricket Bat but was interrupted by a Shuffler.
Sergent Kneecapper put up outstanding resistance throughout the night. He took down several zombies and at one time ended up surrounded by five of them. Sadly though, he fell in the end and also became a Zombie Shuffler later in the game. Above you can see that he has suffered one hit to his Body stat of 2. Tough. But not tough enough.
Rick managed to collect his gear and decided to use his pistol several times. But this only added noise to that location, causing additional spawn markers to be added to the nearest spawn point. What could go wrong?
Mike had his shotgun by then. Neil still hadn't made it to his lentils. Mike's use of his shotgun would prove invaluable throughout the night.
The first group of students are taken down by the zombies. They would spawn as zombies at the end of the Monster phase and chase after the rest of the students next turn.
Mike's shotgun was very useful. Here he unloaded with both barrels for 8 Attack Dice. You roll per zombie under the Flame Template. So, Mike rolled the 8 Attack Dice four times here for this one attack.
Neil finally made it to his lentil stew but was interrupted in picking it up by a nasty surprise.
More of them!
Sergent Kneecapper slowly getting overwhelmed but held firm.
The caretaker watches on. Interestingly none of the zombies paid him any attention. Meanwhile Rick kept shooting at zombies and more of them started appearing near him. I wonder why?
Only two of the students managed to escape. The rest were all taken down and chomped on. The two wheelchair zombies respawned as Zombie Runners, so perhaps there was a benefit to become a zombie for them?
Vyv finally took out his interfering zombie and picked up his Cricket Bat. The players eyes lit up as I gave him the Cricket Bat card and he read it. I didn't give the players any of their equipment cards until they actually picked up their gear. I then made them read the card aloud to the other players. There was much mirth here at this.
To my incredulity however, none of the lads had ever watched The Young Ones and so none of them got the nods to the episodes on the cards. To say I was disgusted was an understatement.
The student hoard now a hoard of zombies. And they were right at the College escape point.
Rick became more and more swamped. Partly because he was the closest visible non-zombie. But mustly because his shooting caused noise that added to the numbers of zombies spawned close to him.
I forgot to mention that the Dean of Scumbag College was located in a building near Neil's Lentil stall. I place here there so she was visible to the lads, but she was actually hiding inside the building.
With all other zombies now on the board, the Toxic Spitter Zombie was the last to spawn. It just happened to appear at the spawn point closest to Neil and his Lentils stall.
Mike, mostly hidden by the tree in the centre of the photo here, opens up against a bunch of zombies. But the Toxic Zombie Brute was just outside of the template and so missed being shot at. Mike eventually got it and it exploded. But Mike was outside of the Small Blast Template for the zombie and so was safe. The lads realised at that moment how they may use this type of zombie to their advantage and later they were able to take out the other Toxic Brute and a zombie next to it when it exploded.
Eventually, the lads whittled down the zombies, as no new ones were spawning, and revived a chomped-on Rick with some health food from their lunch box that was nearby. But I have some fun ideas on what will happen to Rick if we get around to playing this again. He is carrying the zombie virus now, after all.
It was a great game and had some intense moments for the lads. It took very little effort to run it and devise the scenario, thank goodness. A great night for everyone except Rick. Who whined about it for the rest of the night.
